Friday, May 20, 2011

I'm a troubled soul.

I'm failure. There's nothing I can do in life that's right. What is wrong with me? Is God hurting me because I question his being? Is it me? I found out my grades today. Well, I passed Spanish and Physics; however I failed the Spanish final and I feel like I'm failure, a loser. I just wish that when I was in middle school - the IB juniors who told me about this program would tell me how much suffering this would be. I only joined in thinking that I'll be able to get a lot of scholarships to help out my family. It's not Spanish that's putting me down. It's math. I failed my math class. That will go into my transcript. I don't know if I have to take another math class or what? I'm so stupid. This is how I feel. Maybe it's because of my counselor and the IB coordinator. I don't know. When I told my counselor about me failing math in the graduation test...I can see in his eyes that he was deeming me as a failure. I'm in IB - you have to be smart and pass everything. I mean come on what is up with that! Then there is the counselor. He basically straight out tells you if you're not smart then get out. What kind of persons are they. But the point is I failed a class for the first time in my entire life! What am I to do! I don't know anymore. I just don't.

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